It hurts, but I must remember to trust God...

I hurt today, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. It hurts all the way to the core of who I am. I don't know why Satan, the snake he was made, the snake that will crawl on his belly until the end of time. Our family has been stunned, shocked, been torn to pieces by one thoughtless action, & now the whole family is involved, not mildly but very deeply.

My peace has been ripped apart, torn from my heart, as people become selfish, not listening to God's word. They hurt so many because they just don't want to try anymore. I've cried, I've questioned God, I don't understand why-but the hurt that has hit our family feels like we were hit by a tornado & lost all our possesions, to the extent that rebuilding just isn't worth it. My husband is sick, having problems with his blood pressure that I worry his health is deteriorating to the point he will never be well again.

Why I don't know-but God does & I know He will give us answers in His own time, in His own way. Pray for us in the next few days, weeks to come. Pray that God will show us why all this has happened, why our family has to hurt as we are now.

We all have our favorite songs in life. Two of my favorite are songs that I have come to know in the last two years. One of these songs we sing in our church services, the words are so meaningful-it is the first song I am putting in. Read these words, let them soak in, realizing the truth about our God.
The second song I heard with my husband at the first Southern Gospel Festival held at Silver Dollar City in Branson, MO. I had never heard of this group, but have fallen in love with their music, the way they praise God through their music, their singing. God blessed them all with beautiful voices & they in return have used their voices to praise God with songs full of beautiful words, teaching others of God's love for them. This group is Karen Peck & New River.

Ancient Words

Lynn DeShazo

Holy words long preserved

For our walk in this world.

They resound with God's own heart. O let the ancient words impart.

Words of life, words of hope,Give us strength, help us cope.

In this world, where'er we roam, Ancient words will guide us home.

Chorus:

Ancient words, ever true,Changing me and changing you.

We have come with open hearts. O let the ancient words impart.

Holy words of our faith Handed down to this age

Came to us through sacrifice.O heed the faithful words of Christ!

Holy words long preserved For our walk in this world.

They resound with God's own heart. O let the ancient words impart.

Chorus:

Ancient words, ever true, Changing me and changing you.

We have come with open hearts. O let the ancient words impart.

"Four Days Late"

Written by Aaron Wilburn
Performed by Karen Peck and New River

• 
  The news came to Jesus, Please come fast
• Lazarus is sick and without your help he will not last
• Mary and Martha watched their brother die
• They waited for Jesus, He did not come And they wondered why.
  The death watch was over, Buried four days
• Somebody said He'll soon be here, the Lord's on His way
• Martha ran to Him and then she cried
• Lord if you had been here You could have healed him
• He'd still be alive
• But You're four days late And all hope is gone
• Lord we don't understand why you've waited so long
• But His way is God's way Not yours or mine
• When He's four days late He's still on time
  
• Jesus said Martha show me the grave,
• But she said LordYou don't understand He's been there four days
• The grave stone was rolled back, Then Jesus criedLazarus come forth
• then somebody said He's alive, He's alive
• But You're four days late And all hope is gone
• Lord we don't understand why you've waited so long
• But His way is God's way Not yours or mine
• When He's four days late He's still on time
  
• You may be fighting a battle of fear
• You've cried to the Lord I need You nowBut he has not appeared.
• Friend don't be discouraged Cause He's still the same
• He'll soon be here He'll roll back the stone
• And He'll call out your name
  
• But You're four days late And all hope is gone
• Lord we don't understand why you've waited so long
• But His way is God's way Not yours or mine
• When He's four days late He's still on time
  

I love to hear my sweet husband sing. He is a blessing to me, a blessing from God that I truly cherish. He has the voice of an angel, a voice every one loves to hear. He has used his voice for God, to sing for people, to praise God giving him the glory, easing peoples heart and soul. I have been so blessed to have spent 30 years with this blessing from God for me. I have given my heart and soul to this man, thanking God every day for him. I am proud to be my husband's wife, proud to be the wife of such a godly man.

I feel good on some days, on others I don't

There are days that I feel wonderful & then there are days that I feel really bad. Life has handed me some rough knocks, but life has really given me some wonderful blessings, more blessings than the rough knocks. I must admit that I do get depressed some times, but I pray to God that He removes Satan from my life, Satan that is causing my depression, that was making to forget that God will lift me up and bless me with more blessings than I could ever imagine. I rested all day Saturday, which gave me such energy on Sunday, energy that let me enjoy worshipping God at church with other brothers and sisters. I was able to stay awake and really hear what God wanted me to hear, to hear his message that made me think of how I can change my life that would be a better testimony of God's love and blessings.
I struggle with my back pain daily, but I am learning what triggers my pain & what doesn't. I have started walking my dog in the early morning or late evenings when the air is cooler here in AR, where we can walk safely, enjoying the sounds that God created for us to hear. I get frustrated with my back, the pain, the fear of going to have another surgery-but I must put my trust in God, allowing God to get rid of my pain, fears, replacing it with hope & peace that only He can give-that only He will bless me with.
I must remember that Psalms 119 deals with our hurts, struggles, & joy that God gives or takes away. I must change my life, my attitude by doing these things:

1. Commit to READ the scriptures through BIBLE READING, FASTING called to do so, because of the situation. Right now our family is going through a situation that has torn our family apart-one that only God has control over. I decided to do a liquid fasting for a while, praying, believing God's word, worshipping God's creations daily, letting God give me His peace in my heart.
2. Hear God in the scriptures-that is not just reading the scriptures but really read them, letting the scriptures speak to me, transforming my life daily.
3. Submit to the authority of GOD, the BIBLE, SCRIPTURES, because it is authorized by God.

I asked my self and I ask you, when is the last time I (you) significantly change or adjusted myself after reading the scriptures of the Bible, letting them really speak to me as I read them. God said in the Bible, 'Be still and know I am God'. I must ask myself, as you should, when was the last time I did so. Gods' Blessing today & in the days to come.